This Dvar Torah has been sponsored by:
- Lara Hertz Salzman to commemorate the yahrzeit of her grandmother, Hinda bat Moishe
- Barbara Silverman in memory of her mother, Miriam bat Gershon
- Diane Portnoyin memory of her grandmother, Doba bat Shabtai, and to commemorate the yahrzeit of her mother, Zivia bat Henich
There are two prohibitions in this week’s parsha that carry a very profound lesson that is pertinent to the period of sefira when we mourn over the death of Rabbi Akiva’s 24,000 students. The Talmud tells us that they died because they did not act respectfully with one another. Therefore when we mourn their deaths we have to contemplate this tragic episode in our history and see how we can rectify this same shortcoming that may exist in our lives today.
There are times that people wrong us and because of that we dislike and even act disrespectfully towards them. The Torah in this week’s parsha gives us two prohibitions and a deeper understanding of them will give us the key to how to relate to those who have wronged us.
Here is a translation of the Sefer Hachinuch in this week’s parsha:
Mitzvah 241– To not take revenge, meaning that we have been prevented from taking revenge from an Israelite. And the content is, for example, that an Israelite did evil or caused pain to his fellow in one of the things that it is customary for most people to not veer from searching for the one who did evil do them until they pay him back like his evil deed, or they hurt him like he hurt them. And God, may He be blessed, has prevented us from this matter, by His stating (Leviticus 19:18), “You shall not avenge.” The Sifra, Kedoshim, Chapter 4:10 states, “How far is the power of revenge? If one said to another, ‘Lend me your sickle,’ and he did not lend him. The next day the other said to him, ‘Lend me your spade.’ He said back] ‘I will not lend you it, just as you did not lend me your sickle.’ regarding this it is written, ‘You shall not take revenge.'” And compare all other things to this.
It is from the roots of the commandment that a person know and put into his heart that everything that happens to him – good and bad – the cause of it coming to him is from God, blessed be He. And from the hand of man – from the hand of a man to his brother – there would not be anything without the will of God, blessed be He. Therefore, when a person caused him pain or hurt him, he should know for himself that his own sins caused it, and that God, may He be blessed, ordained this for him. And he should not place his thoughts to taking revenge from the one who pained him, since he is not the cause of his evil, but rather the sin is the cause
Mitzvah 242 -To not begrudge: To not begrudge, meaning to say that we have been prevented from bearing a grudge in our hearts about an Israelite having done evil to us. And even though we have decided in our souls not to pay him back for his deeds, we have even been prevented from just remembering his sin in the heart. And about this is it stated, (Leviticus 19:18), “you shall not begrudge.” And the language of Sifra, Kedoshim, Chapter 4:11 is “How far is the power of begrudging? If one said to another, ‘Lend me your sickle,’ and he did not lend him. The next day, the other said to him, ‘Lend me your spade.’ He said back to him, ‘Here it is; I am not like you, who did not lend me your sickle.’ Therefore, it is written, ‘you shall not begrudge.'” All of the content of this commandment is like the commandment of vengeance that preceded it.
The message is straightforward. There is nothing in life, including what others choose to do against us, that can affect us if not for the Almighty allowing it to happen. Being upset with someone for what they have done is directing one’s feelings to the wrong address.
Now this does not mean that the person who caused hurt to someone doesn’t have to make amends for what he or she may have done. After all, it was their decision to do so. But the perspective of the one who has been hurt should be that this comes from the Ultimate Source which decides everything that has happened, does happen, and will happen in our lives.
If we internalize this concept, our perspective and feelings towards others will change. Our interactions will improve and make reconciliation easier.
That will create more shalom among us and a merit for more shalom in all aspects of our lives.
Shabbat shalom and stay safe,
Yitzchak