Avraham makes his servant Eliezer swear that, ”you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites among whom I dwell, but will go to the land of my birth and get a wife for my son Isaac (24:3-4).”

Eliezer then says,

אוּלַי לֹא־תֹאבֶה הָאִשָּׁה לָלֶכֶת אַחֲרַי אֶל־הָאָרֶץ הַזֹּאת הֶהָשֵׁב אָשִׁיב אֶת־בִּנְךָ אֶל־הָאָרֶץ אֲשֶׁר־יָצָאתָ מִשָּׁם׃

Perhaps the woman will not consent to follow me to this land. Shall I then take your son back to the land from which you came?

(Breishit 24:5)

Avraham answers no. Rather, “The LORD, the God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and from my native land….He will send His angel before you, and you will get a wife for my son from there (24:7).”

After Eliezer meets Yitzchak’s future wife, Rivka, he meets her family and tells them the sequence of events that led up to this point of time. When he retells the question that he posed to Avraham, although the wording is slightly different than the first time,there is a Hebrew word that is used in both places that has the same pronunciation and definition, but a different spelling.

The first time, the Torah states אוּלַי לֹא־תֹאבֶה הָאִשָּׁה–perhaps the woman will not consent. The second time it states (24:39), אֻלַי לֹא־תֵלֵךְ הָאִשָּׁה אַחֲרָי–perhaps the woman will not follow me. The first time the word is spelled with the Hebrew letter “Vav” while the second time it does not.

This word without the letter “Vav” can also be read as Ai-ly which means “to me”. Rashi cites the Midrash that Eliezer was hinting to Avraham, “(Come) to me,” meaning consider my daughter for your son.

Avraham took the hint and responded that as a descendant of Cham, the son of Noach who was cursed for revealing his father’s indignity, Eliezer and his offspring were cursed and spiritually tainted. They could not form a union with Avraham’s offspring.

But the story does not end there. The Torah relates how Rivka’s brother, Lavan, after hearing about his sister’s encounter with Eliezer went to invite Eliezer to their home and greeted him with the following words, וַיֹּאמֶר בּוֹא בְּרוּךְ ה “Come in, O blessed of the LORD (24:31).” The Torah’s recording of Eliezer being called “the blessed one of the Lord” is not inconsequential. The Midrash states that these words testify that Eliezer freed himself from the curse of Cham and became blessed. Why? Because he served Avraham faithfully in finding a wife for Yitzchak.

This means that when Avraham told Eliezer that his daughter could not marry Yitzchak, Eliezer was considered cursed. Once he finds a wife for Yitzchak, Eliezer becomes blessed. Why? Because he served Avraham faithfully. Wasn’t he a faithful servant until now? He certainly was. But now that he was rejected by Avraham, Eliezer’s faithfulness rose to a whole new level. He faithfully searched for a wife for Avraham’s son even after his own daughter was rejected for that very thing.

Rising above any feelings of hurt and animosity for being rejected and faithfully fulfilling his mission changed Eliezer from being cursed to being blessed!

Here is an amazing example of this related by Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetsky.

Rabbi Boruch Ber Lebowitz, Rosh HaYeshiva (Dean) of the yeshiva in Kamenitz, Poland had finally found a match for his daughter. It was one of his outstanding students and Rabbi Lebowitz was overjoyed. Engagements lasted for a long time in those days so Rabbi Lebowitz suggested to his future son-in-law that he should continue his studies, uninterrupted, in a different city.

Two months later a package arrived at Rabbi Lebowitz’s home. It contained the watch and other gifts that he had given his student upon his engagement and a note stating that for personal reasons the engagement was off. One can only imagine the devastation of the bride and her parents.

Some years later Rabbi Lebowitz asked three of his closest students to review a letter he had written to make sure that it was not tainted by a past painful experience. This was a letter of recommendation for a former student who requested it as he was seeking a rabbinical position. That student was none other than the student who was once engaged to Rabbi Lebowitz’s daughter! Rabbi Lebowitz wrote a beautiful letter full of praise but he was concerned that perhaps his personal hurt may have affected his ability to fully portray the qualities of his student. The students who were aware of what had happened in the past were amazed by the glowing report that Rabbi Lebowitz wrote.

So if you’re looking for a bracha (a blessing), here’s a suggestion. Do something for someone who has hurt you or rejected you and do it as wholeheartedly as you can without the past weighing you down.

You’ll be following the example of some very blessed people.

Shabbat Shalom!
Yitzchak

Rosh Hashanah of 1993 would usher in a year of the observance of Shemitah, the mitzvah to leave the land of Israel fallow for the entire year. Shortly before Rosh Hashana, a little girl told her father how she learned in school that next year is going to be Shemitah when the land may not be worked. “You will not be allowed to work your vineyard,” she told him. “And you must declare all the grapes hefker(ownerless).”

“What is the matter with you?” replied the father. “Our lives depend on my vineyard! If I don’t sell the grapes you won’t have what to eat. If I don’t work the vineyard it will never be the same.”

The little girl became very sad and said nothing. Then she had a thought.

“Abba, have you ever heard of Avraham Avinu(our forefather Abraham)?”

“Yes.”

“Abba, do you know that Avraham had a precious son Yitzchak and that Hashem told Avrohom to offer Yitzchak as a sacrifice (as depicted at the end of this week’s parsha)? And Abba, do you know that Avraham without any hesitation was ready to fulfill Hashem’s will?”

“I remember studying that as a child,” he said.

“Abba,” the little girl said. “If Avraham was ready to give up his son for Hashem’s sake, can’t we give up our vineyard for one year?”

Visibly moved by her sincere words he said, “If that’s the way you put it, my dear child, I will do as you say.”

(From Shabbos Stories by Rabbi Shimon Finkelman)

There is a Yiddish saying that one does not ask questions on a story. But I’m going to anyway.

The little girl’s argument is touching. But is it correct? I would make the following argument. If I was Avrohom who was ready to offer his son as a sacrifice, then you can say that if I’m ready to sacrifice so much, I should be ready to give up my vineyard for a year. But I’m not Avraham and perhaps I wouldn’t be able to sacrifice my son. Who says then that I can give up my vineyard even for just a year?

But the little girl was absolutely correct! Because if Avraham could do it then we can do it!

The basis for this comes from Pirkei Avot 5:3.

עֲשָׂרָה נִסְיוֹנוֹת נִתְנַסָּה אַבְרָהָם אָבִינוּ עָלָיו הַשָּׁלוֹם וְעָמַד בְּכֻלָּם, לְהוֹדִיעַ כַּמָּה חִבָּתוֹ שֶׁל אַבְרָהָם אָבִינוּ עָלָיו הַשָּׁלוֹם:

With ten trials was Avraham, our father (may he rest in peace), tried, and he withstood them all; to make known how great was the love of Abraham, our father (peace be upon him).

The commentary of Ruach Chaim explains why Avraham is called here “our father” while in a previous place in Pirkei Avot he is referred to as just Avraham. The Mishna means to stress that Avraham’s fatherhood to the Jewish people was manifest through these ten trials. With each trial Avraham attained another level of spiritual accomplishment and then passed on that power to his descendants. Just as children inherit their parents’ genes, Avraham’s children, the Jewish people, also inherited his spiritual genes.

This is why we find even the simplest of Jews ready to give up their lives to sanctify Hashem’s name. This comes from Avraham’s readiness to give up his life when he was confronted to abandon his belief in Hashem or be cast in a burning furnace. (It also comes from his readiness to fulfill Hashem’s command to offer his son Yitzchak as a sacrifice.)

This is also why we find Jews ready to give up everything to settle in the land of Israel. This comes from Avraham who left everything behind to fulfill Hashem’s words of:

לֶךְ־לְךָ מֵאַרְצְךָ וּמִמּוֹלַדְתְּךָ וּמִבֵּית אָבִיךָ אֶל־הָאָרֶץ אֲשֶׁר אַרְאֶךָּ׃

Go forth from your native land and from your father’s house to the land that I will show you.
(Breishit 12:1)

We find in last week’s parsha that after Avraham left his homeland to come to the land of Israel he was immediately forced to leave due to a famine. He accepted this without complaint although it could have bothered him why Hashem had taken him away from his father’s home and his birthplace to be forced to leave his new country so soon. With this he inculcated his descendants with the ability to accept that whatever Heaven brings their way is for their good.

So when we study the life of Avraham, as well as the lives of the rest of the Avot (Patriarchs) and Imahot (Matriarchs), we are not just learning lessons from their lives. We are discovering who we are.

Therefore, if Avraham could do it so can we.

The little girl was absolutely right!

Shabbat Shalom!
Yitzchak