Yaakov arrives in Charan as per his father’s directive to go there to find a wife from his mother’s family. He encounters three flocks of sheep with their shepherds waiting by a well.

וַיֹּאמֶר הֵן עוֹד הַיּוֹם גָּדוֹל לֹא־עֵת הֵאָסֵף הַמִּקְנֶה הַשְׁקוּ הַצֹּאן וּלְכוּ רְעוּ׃

He said, ‘It is still broad daylight, too early to round up the animals; water the flock and take them to pasture.’ (29:7)

Yaakov rebukes them for stopping their work too early in the day. Yaakov knows a key principle necessary when pointing out to someone their faults.

Rambam (Maimonides) writes in the Laws of Dayot (Human Dispositions) 6:7:

It is a mitzvah for a person who sees that his fellow Jew has sinned or is following an improper path , to correct his behavior and to inform him that he is causing himself a loss by his evil deeds as [Leviticus 19:17] states:’You shall surely admonish your friend (i.e your fellow Jew).’ A person who rebukes a friend – whether because of a against him or because of a matter between his friend and God – should rebuke him privately. He should speak to him patiently and gently, informing him that he is only making these statements for his friend's own welfare, to allow him to merit the life of the world to come.

Rambam teaches us that when one rebukes others he must do so because he cares about them and the recipients of his rebuke must know that.

Therefore before rebuking them, Yaakov addresses them as his brothers, making it clear to them that he has feelings of brotherhood towards them. When they receive his rebuke they will now know that these words flow from the heart of a person who cares for them.

This helps us understand something else.

After Yaakov points out to them that there’s still time to work they explain to him:

וַיֹּאמְרוּ לֹא נוּכַל עַד אֲשֶׁר יֵאָסְפוּ כׇּל־הָעֲדָרִים וְגָלְלוּ אֶת־הָאֶבֶן מֵעַל פִּי הַבְּאֵר וְהִשְׁקִינוּ הַצֹּאן׃

They said, ‘We cannot, until all the flocks are rounded up; then the stone is rolled off the mouth of the well and we water the sheep.’ (29:8)

Why did they respond so well to the rebuke of a complete stranger? The answer is because they understood that a brother was chiding them and he was doing it because he cared about them. That made the difference.

And that’s the key to getting people back on the right track.

Shabbat Shalom!
Yitzchak