Avraham makes his servant Eliezer swear that, ”you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites among whom I dwell, but will go to the land of my birth and get a wife for my son Isaac (24:3-4).” Eliezer then says:
וַיֹּאמֶר אֵלָיו הָעֶבֶד אוּלַי לֹא־תֹאבֶה הָאִשָּׁה לָלֶכֶת אַחֲרַי אֶל־הָאָרֶץ הַזֹּאת הֶהָשֵׁב אָשִׁיב אֶת־בִּנְךָ אֶל־הָאָרֶץ אֲשֶׁר־יָצָאתָ מִשָּׁם׃
Perhaps the woman will not consent to follow me to this land. Shall I then take your son back to the land from which you came? (24:5)
Avraham answers no. Rather, “The LORD, the God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and from my native land….He will send His angel before you, and you will get a wife for my son from there” (24:7).
After Eliezer meets Yitzchak’s future wife, Rivka, he meets her family and tells them the sequence of events that led up to this point of time. When he retells the question that he posed to Avraham, although the wording is slightly different than the first time,there is a Hebrew word that is used in both places that has the same pronunciation and definition, but a different spelling.
The first time, the Torah states אוּלַי לֹא־תֹאבֶה הָאִשָּׁה- perhaps the woman will not consent. The second time it states (24:39), אֻלַי לֹא־תֵלֵךְ הָאִשָּׁה אַחֲרָי-perhaps the woman will not follow me. The first time the word is spelled with the Hebrew letter “Vav” while the second time it does not.
This word without the letter “Vav” can also be read as Ai-ly which means to me. Rashi cites the Midrash that Eliezer was hinting to Avraham, “(Come) to me,” meaning consider my daughter for your son.
Avraham took the hint and responded that as a descendant of Cham, the son of Noach who was cursed for revealing his father’s indignity, Eliezer and his offspring were cursed and spiritually tainted. They could not form a union with Avraham’s offspring.
But the story does not end there. The Torah relates how Rivka’s brother, Lavan, after hearing about his sister’s encounter with Eliezer went to invite Eliezer to their home and greeted him with the following words,’ בּוֹא בְּרוּךְ ד, “Come in, O blessed of the LORD (24:31).” The Torah’s recording of Eliezer being called “the blessed one of the Lord” is not inconsequential. The Midrash states that these words testify that Eliezer freed himself from the curse of Cham and became blessed. Why? Because he served Avraham faithfully in finding a wife for Yitzchak.
Wasn’t he a faithful servant until now? He certainly was. But now Eliezer’s faithfulness rose to a whole new level. He faithfully searched for a wife for Avraham’s son even after his own daughter was rejected for that very thing.
Rising above any feelings of hurt and animosity for being rejected and faithfully fulfilling his mission changed Eliezer from being cursed to being blessed!
Here is an amazing example of this related by Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetsky.
Rabbi Boruch Ber Lebowitz, Rosh HaYeshiva (Dean) of the yeshiva in Kamenitz, Poland had finally found a match for his daughter. It was one of his outstanding students and Rabbi Lebowitz was overjoyed. Engagements lasted for a long time in those days so Rabbi Lebowitz suggested to his future son-in-law that he should continue his studies, uninterrupted, in a different city.Two months later a package arrived at Rabbi Lebowitz’s home. It contained the watch and other gifts that he had given his student upon his engagement and a note stating that for personal reasons the engagement was off. One can only imagine the devastation of the bride and her parents.
Some years later Rabbi Lebowitz asked three of his closest students to review a letter he had written. This was a letter of recommendation for a former student who requested it as he was seeking a rabbinical position. That student was none other than the student who was once engaged to Rabbi Lebowitz’s daughter! Rabbi Lebowitz wrote a beautiful letter full of praise but he was concerned that perhaps his personal hurt may have affected his ability to fully portray the qualities of his student. The students who were aware of what had happened in the past were amazed by the glowing report that Rabbi Lebowitz wrote.
So if you’re looking for a bracha (a blessing), here’s a suggestion. Do something for someone who has hurt you or rejected you and do it as wholeheartedly as you can without the past weighing you down. You’ll be following the example of some very blessed people.
Shabbat Shalom!
Yitzchak